I lost people very close to me, and the way I felt for the longest time kept me sick. I went inpatient and one day released a balloon with his name on it and said to myself that I don’t ever want my kids to feel this way about me. They went through it once for their father and I will never at my own fault let them feel that way again! Friday is their fathers birthday and it’s going to be hard but what would he want for me today? What would my kids want for me today? Where do I want myself to be just for today? I’m proud of who I am today, I know I have busted my ass but it feels good to be where I’m at and knowing that I am being the best person I can be helps my kids worry less and less each day! Don’t think of everyday as a means to an end but love the work you do on yourself everyday and true happiness follows, because we will always be addicts and that day that we think we aren’t anymore could be our last! Sorry for everyone’s losses but be thankful we still have a chance!