Just for Today: I will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven. I will try to act in such a way that I feel worthy of self-love.

This one was was hard for me to grasp at first! I thought because I was in treatment and now out of treatment and doing good that I should just automatically get forgiven. Well a few of the fine staff members at Nicholasville explained that I may never get forgiven. I harmed my Stepdad who has stage 4 cancer. While I was in stepworks he took a turn for the worst and I freaked out because I didn’t think he would make it until I got out. He is doing better now but is not ready to speak to me. It hurts but I am so thankful for the staff at stepworks in explaining all this to me. I may never get his forgiveness and have to make an amends to him while he is on the other side. I had to accept that early in my recovery but I am grateful to learn that early. I told my Mom last night that forgiveness is really for ourselves and not for the other person. I have forgiven myself for what I have done. If I didnt I would be right back out there in the madness.