https://youtu.be/pfgvngQbMMY?si=etOiJ__oiHw-m-yc

Finally completed my 30 days at London! Want to thank all the staff. You all are truly amazing people! Made my experience so much easier! Read to hit those meetings!

December 28 Depression “We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression.” Basic Text, p. 27 ––––=–––– As addicts, many of us experience depression from time to time.  When we feel depressed, we may be tempted to isolate ourselves.  However, if we do this, our depression may turn to despair.  We can’t afford to let depression lead us back to using. Instead, we try to go about the routine of our lives.  We make meeting attendance and contact with our sponsor top priorities.  Sharing with others about our feelings may let us know we aren’t the only ones who have been depressed in recovery.  Working with a newcomer can work wonders for our own state of mind.  And, most importantly, prayer and meditation can help us tap the power we need to survive depression. We practice acceptance and remember that feelings like depression will unquestionably pass in time.  Rather than struggle with our feelings, we accept them and ask for the strength to walk through them. ––––=–––– Just for today:  I accept that my feelings of depression won’t last forever.  I will talk openly about my feelings with my sponsor or another person who understands.

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous (p. 25).

Wednesday, March 17 Thought for the Day A.A. also helps us to hang onto sobriety. By having regular meetings so that we can associate with other alcoholics who have come through that same door in the wall, by encouraging us to tell the story of our own sad experiences with alcohol, and by showing us how to help other alcoholics, A.A. keeps us sober. Our attitude toward life changes from one of pride and selfishness to one of humility and gratitude. Am I going to step back through that door in the wall to my old helpless, hopeless, drunken life? Meditation for the Day Withdraw into the calm of communion with God. Rest in that calm and peace. When the soul finds its home of rest in God, then it is that real life begins. Only when you are calm and serene can you do good work. Emotional upsets make you useless. The eternal life is calmness and when you enter into that, then you live as an eternal being. Calmness is based on complete trust in God. Nothing in this world can separate you from the love of God. Prayer for the Day I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being.

This is so true

So, I've been clean since January because I did have 2 relapses but the last one damn near could have killed me! I went into a horrible seizure and fell out the shower and I landed on my mouth, hence losing 5 teeth which did major damage on my self esteem. I get ANGRY when the thought of my past usage comes into my mind because I don't want to use and I don't have any desire to use. Let me enlighten you about something that happened at my work a couple weeks ago and I was livid. I'm now a cna and I love my job! Well, I have a lot of hyper energy and I love to make my residents happy and most of them love me! Well, I work with someone who is in the NA program like myself, from the Lexington area okay. I had a nurse approach me and ask me what I was on and she doesn't know me from Adam and Eve. I told her I wasn't on anything and she said she knew that I used to do drugs, and I asked her how she knew that, but she refused to tell me how, but I have a pretty good guess how, the girl from Lexington. She didn't believe me at all, and I didn't appreciate her accusatory comments, because I KNOW THAT I AM CLEAN, so the only thing I could say was I'll take a fucking drug test right now. I ended up not having to because a nurse that had left to go home, which is also a recovering addict came back to work and talked to me and she could tell that I wasn't high. So now, I went to my neurologist on Tuesday, and they know now about my past drug use, they sent me to the lab to do a urine drug screen and I can't wait to get a copy of the results because I'm going to take it to my work and shove it in the nurse's face who had no business accusing me like she did and say now tell me that I'm high! I've been doing really good and I'm only going to get better from here. Thanks y'all!

"Recovery is a process of discovery. We learn about ourselves, and we learn how to cope with the world around us. When we are sincere in our desire to allow our higher power to care for us, we begin to gain a sense of serenity. We notice a gradual change in our thinking. Our attitudes and ideas become more positive. Our world is no longer distorted by self-pity, denial, and resentment. We are beginning to replace those old attitudes with honesty, faith and responsibility; as a result, we begin to see our world in a better light. Our lives are guided by our emerging integrity. Even though we make mistakes, we become more willing to take responsibility for our actions. We learn that we don't have to be perfect to live a spiritual life. When we work step three with an open mind and heart, we find the results are far beyond our expectations. " It Works How and Why pg24

Blessed everyday.

Today is my 90 days and I am just so grateful! Grateful to God, stepworks and the staff, the program I was introduced to while I was there! I am grateful that stepworks didn't just tell me to quit using, they helped me figure out why I was using in the first place! I am grateful that I can smile today in the sunshine and know that it is authentic! I am grateful to know this is a lifelong journey but I only have to take it one day at a time! Love all you beautiful people!

Just got my 6 month key tag last week! Its not been easy but definitely worth it. Didn't think it was possible for me but just for today, it is. Thanks again to all the staff at stepworks! Forever grateful 20200310_215151

Good morning 🌞 everyone! Another 24 hrs sober- Joe Rogan

Dope, dope, dope it makes me lose all hope! If only I could cope. This is horrible life makes me wanna croke. My arms are so sore from all these pokes. Look at me I'm a fucking joke. I am almost to the end of my rope. All i do is sit around and mope. I am sick of looking through this scope. Dope, dope, dope. Fight, fight, fight ya know I think I just might. The bottom is in sight. I am so sick of being so pale white. I want to be a delight not a fright. I know my future is so bright. I just have to get back up and do right. Rome wasn't built over night. I will stand up and fight. Recovery is in sight, I am on the next flight. Relax easy does it, Im calling it a night. I just wrote this and i need help.

57 days clean today and homeless shelter won't let us stay here any longer. Dunno what to do or where to go. Couples SOBER living won't take our insurance. What do we do now?

Feels like ever step of progress I get push back ten steps.