Merry Christmas everyone!! Hope everyone is having a wonderful day today back to like one week sober from crystal had short relapse but jumped back on the recovery train can’t beat myself over the past! The good news is although it was suspected by close family members it was not proven and I’m sorry I know secrets may keep us sick but I told my sponsor and you all so I don’t feel the need to ruin everyone else’s Christmas you agree??
In The beginning of my relapse I felt wonderful I was ahead of the game at work running machines and presses that some grown men can’t run…
But after a few days I was feeling miserable body aches like you wouldn’t believe I felt like I had a pinched nerve in my back that would not go away my work wanted to send me to the ER and of course that would entail a drug screen so I dealt with it…
After a day or two of not having it I was miserable tired grouchy and snappy towards my loved ones I did not want to be touched or talk to you for that matter and I’m just sitting there thinking what are you doing this isn’t you anymore you had almost a year sober from meth and you through that Sobriety away to feel miserable ashamed and just straight shitty!!!
I know I can stay sober, I was a meth user for 10 years and IV drug user for three and I went to cold turkey to be with this man that has a seven year old kid and raise a new family along with my 14 and 15-year-old it’s a wonderful feeling to to be a part of this family and I realize it just isn’t worth it the consequences and the side effects or just plain stupid so I’m hoping that was my Quiktrip wake up call all I can do is pray about it and keep moving forward yes I do love having that energy but like I said fuck those consequences I’m good here’s to another day sober merry Christmas everyone I hope any of you that are struggling with three labs are reminding yourself that nobody’s perfect and you can’t sit in you’re shit and feel sorry for yourself you have to dust yourself off and keep going 🐌sometimes quickly sometimes slowly it will always materialize if WE work for them right 🐌