https://youtu.be/pfgvngQbMMY?si=etOiJ__oiHw-m-yc

December 28 Depression “We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression.” Basic Text, p. 27 ––––=–––– As addicts, many of us experience depression from time to time.  When we feel depressed, we may be tempted to isolate ourselves.  However, if we do this, our depression may turn to despair.  We can’t afford to let depression lead us back to using. Instead, we try to go about the routine of our lives.  We make meeting attendance and contact with our sponsor top priorities.  Sharing with others about our feelings may let us know we aren’t the only ones who have been depressed in recovery.  Working with a newcomer can work wonders for our own state of mind.  And, most importantly, prayer and meditation can help us tap the power we need to survive depression. We practice acceptance and remember that feelings like depression will unquestionably pass in time.  Rather than struggle with our feelings, we accept them and ask for the strength to walk through them. ––––=–––– Just for today:  I accept that my feelings of depression won’t last forever.  I will talk openly about my feelings with my sponsor or another person who understands.

You all are my people! 💙💙

These my people 💙

Posted a update.

My 5th taught me that just because my pain is understandable doesn't make my behavior acceptable.

Did government control lead to an opioid crisis? In this interview we hear from Addiction Expert and Stepworks Recovery Centers Founder, Dr. Tom Ingram. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BCoT0SP9Zs&t=5s

She pulls all the strings he hates his very being theres always something missing in his world that he can't see she controls his everymove he does what she says to do he doesn't have any choice she will make him use he knows it isnt right but doesn't put up a fight he always lets her win yeah the relationship is real tight it's always a one way street she keeps him down he sees he's beat he's about to give up he can't stand on his two feet once they had real fun but those time are forever gone he's gave all he can give now he don't think he wants to live times have got real tough and he needs a special touch so she picks him up real high and then lets him down agian it's hard for him to be as strong hasn't eaten in so long hes lost alot weight and she kicks him while he's down now he thinks he's loosing his mind His family tells him no that it's time for him to go she's caused him so much damage he hangs his head and cries the pain is so real this ain't the way he used to feel she used to make him happy now he's so sad he wants to die it's courage that he needs he's brave he starts to see he's got to let her go so he can change his life was she his friend or was she not seemed she always gave him a shot but once she took over she took up all his time but only when he sees how selfish she can be can he get the courage as he slowly starts to rise he must remain Soo brave he can do it day by day and as he gets his strength up there's a fire in his eyes he knows that it's ok he don't need her anyway and as he breaks her chains he screams out her name in anger she hears his pain he finally has the strength and he looks at her in the eyes and he finally gets the guts to tell crystal her goodbye

Getting settled in this beautiful sober living house, still trying to understand why I deserve all the blessings bestowed upon me today! Thank you Dwight Z, Todd, the entire Step Work's staff and everyone else for the help and support! I love each and everyone of y'all!

I'm beginning to realize that none of us are more equipped to deal with the mental aspect of getting clean. No matter our background of work and family, or lack there of. Nor, all the tools we've acquired over time or the ideologies we cling to, to try and make sense out of things that are out of our control. I've grown tired of going to programs and situations of help because I felt like I was hearing the same word regurgitation over and over. You know, those vague sayings that only serve a purpose to give generalized contentment. But we are all subject to be that man drowning and more often than not I'm only barely treading water. I'm slowly and painfully realizing that I've only sat in these circles just hearing the words over and over. I need to start applying and living all those words once I leave, because that's where I fail fuckin consistently. I've become a master regurgitator of recovery sayings and other inspirational and self helping bullshit over the years. Only person that hurts is me (and all the people that care about me)so I'm going to have to wipe my slate clean and return back to this like a child, eager and willing to learn. Wise man once told me, "you can't start a journey of commitment without completing your first one". He said that in regards of me leaving treatment prematurely but I also find truth in that by realizing I got to seek help to solve the problem completely. Not just till things get better and I can get high again. As I'm getting older I see that the regret and internal conflict is only growing stronger. So I think that is my body's and mind's way of telling me that this will surely lead to my death.

May the road rise to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face May the rains fall soft upon your fields And, until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of His hand. - Irish Blessing

Posted a update.

I don’t know if this is the private link or not but just got out of jail but still sober